Posts by Coffee House Girl

37

Snare & Racket's Graduation Picture

by cofty in

jw
friends

after years of hard work and study, former bethel boy snare & racket is now officially a medical doctor.. his story is an inspiration that there can be life after the watchtower.

he has given me permission to post his graduation picture.. .

Coffee House Girl

Love it!!!!

Congrats, what an amazing accomplishment, and all that "accurate knowledge" will really be put to good use!!!!

CHG

24

Advice on fading needed

by wallievase in

jw
friends

these 2 options are before me right now-.

1. write a letter to the elders and my family, not da myself but basically saying i have too much going on in my life and am confused, so that they will stop bothering my wife and stop asking me questions all the time.

after i write the letter continue to go to the hall less and less.... 2. appease my wife.

Coffee House Girl

This is the hardest part...when people get wind of your attempt to fade, they circle the wagons and try to strong arm you into snaping back into line...my mistake at this stage was saying too much- here are a few thoughts...

as everyone has already said...don't put anything in writing- your wife is panicked right now...try to remain calm for her (this is very stressful for her with people from the congregation pressuring her/looking down on her...she may think of it as a failure on her part). I also agree that you should have a "broken record" response for the elders/congregation; such as saying every time they want to talk to you that "you don't want to talk about it", or that you are doing alright....I went the "I need mental help route" and it resulted in my family wanting me committed.....so just try to relax...say you are just under a lot of stress and pressure right now that is making you feel depressed (but not so depressed that you are out of control).

Maybe suggest going on holiday, or some kind of fun family activity (not theocratic)...and try to relax with your family. Armageddon is not coming tomorrow, you have time to step back and slow the fade a bit if things are TOO tense right now. You can still maybe slack on meeting attendance (sighting stress and anxiety)...service too for that matter- dont accept any invitations to go out in service with an elder for "encouragement", maybe just go out in service as a family if you have to...make it really EASY stuff (I couldn't bring myself to even leave magazines with my return visits at the end of my fade...I would just go and visit my return visits- insist on going to the door myself, and never talk about the "truth" or leave literature)

I know that the new JW.org campaign is coming up...just cite anxiety and stress again...try to opt for easier activities like visiting sick/infirmed...tell your family how good it feels to encourage those ones by visiting and reading to them (my mom does this a lot now in service...goes to the old age homes and reads to people)-

Best of luck...I do remember how hard this process is, and where I failed in my fade I hope you will succeed with your family intact!!!

CHG

15

Are Jdubs going to put the elderly out to pasture with JW.org?

by Coffee House Girl in

it will be interesting to see how things play out...but one example which got me to thinking about this is my mother.

my mom is a 76 year old regular pioneer (she is one of those who believes that you are "nothing" if you are not a pioneer...the position is everything)-.

i am moving in two weeks to go to grad school, so i have been trying to go out to visit...say goodbye...do things for her before i leave.

Coffee House Girl

Thanks everyone for their replies, and thanks Jeannette for the suggestion of a book...I will look into that!

I think people who just happen to like technology, and find it fun to learn new things (like your parents RichardHaley) will always be able to roll with the changes and keep up with new gagetry.... like a fish to water- but I have observed being raised in JW land that sometimes a lifetime of not thinking for yourself (especially as a woman, you must always defer to the man as your "head" of household) makes some JWs completely lost when trying to learn how to do new things....they get left behind.

CHG

15

Are Jdubs going to put the elderly out to pasture with JW.org?

by Coffee House Girl in

it will be interesting to see how things play out...but one example which got me to thinking about this is my mother.

my mom is a 76 year old regular pioneer (she is one of those who believes that you are "nothing" if you are not a pioneer...the position is everything)-.

i am moving in two weeks to go to grad school, so i have been trying to go out to visit...say goodbye...do things for her before i leave.

Coffee House Girl

Interesting thoughts, thanks for your replies....I agree that perhaps the borg will come up with some other way for the elderly to count their time-

like with the "you can even count 15 minutes if you are sick/bedridden" exemption.

My mother tells me that she reads a lot to people at the old age homes (her community has three rather large facilities for full-time care of the sick/elderly), so there are ways around e-preaching with JW.org I'm sure. Marina, I know in her younger years she was one of those that walked around with placards saying "false religion is a snare and a racket"...she talks about being threatened and yelled at...but now field service is so mild- drive around for hours to knock on doors with no one home, stop for food breaks, visit the sick and infirmed- she has her regular magazine route that she has had for decades (those people think of her as a friendly lady, she has no bible studies that I know of)...this change to e-preaching with i-pads is just really a difficult skill set for people like her to aquire.

I was having a nice conversation with her yesterday (with my real mom's personality...not the cult mom I'm used to dealing with)...I think she realizes that there is something really off about the direction that the JW religion is going, but she cannot let herself entertain those thoughts so far as to say that they do not have the "truth". She is just really hoping that she can pass away soon, and in her mind...dealing with all these changes will be over with...she will wake up in the "new system" where Jeehoober will fix everything for her.

Part of me is glad to be moving away...I'm looking forward to a fresh start without wearing the JW baggage on my sleeve, but I also hate to leave my mom in that loveless/conditional love environment. Her actions since my leaving have demonstrated that even though it is hard for her, she will not stop talking to me, I am still her daughter- and I am grateful that she tries even though our relationship is somewhat guarded.

CHG

15

Are Jdubs going to put the elderly out to pasture with JW.org?

by Coffee House Girl in

it will be interesting to see how things play out...but one example which got me to thinking about this is my mother.

my mom is a 76 year old regular pioneer (she is one of those who believes that you are "nothing" if you are not a pioneer...the position is everything)-.

i am moving in two weeks to go to grad school, so i have been trying to go out to visit...say goodbye...do things for her before i leave.

Coffee House Girl

It will be interesting to see how things play out...but one example which got me to thinking about this is my mother. My mom is a 76 year old regular pioneer (she is one of those who believes that you are "nothing" if you are not a pioneer...the position is everything)-

I am moving in two weeks to go to grad school, so I have been trying to go out to visit...say goodbye...do things for her before I leave. Years ago I gave her my old laptop and tried to teach her how to turn the computer on and navigate the internet, and at the time she told me that she would never use it, there was nothing for her on it, and she was too old to learn.

Now...she asked me yesterday to teach her again, she is worried because she has to try to learn how to get on JW.org and doesn't know how to...this technology can be so scary for elderly people...and my mom is so used to giving out paper. Even the little things like double clicking on an icon seem so confusing for her she was just shaking-

I'm wondering if .....in the future when JW.org takes over all aspects of their worship (as their new idol ) if mom will end up having to step down as a regular pioneer...I don't agree with JW doctrine anymore, but I would never dream of disrupting my mother's faith at this stage in her life...the resurrection hope means everything to her, and her work in the ministry (even though sad and depressing to me) is also important for her identity.

These are my musings over coffee this morning....

CHG

29

"Witness to Murder" an upcoming program on US TV about a JW family will air August 20th...

by AndersonsInfo in

jw
friends

i was informed yesterday that a us cable tv channel named investigation discovery will be broadcasting a 7-part series named "deadly devotion.

" one program in the series is "witness to murder" which will air wednesday evening, august 20th, probably at 9 p.m. est.

check the schedule on the internet which lists the date and time of broadcast two-weeks ahead.

Coffee House Girl

marked

36

New "Caleb and Sofia" video on JW.ORG....you have to see it!

by stuckinarut2 in

ok, so i dont want to be a negative bitter person...and we all love little kids, but i am just so torn about the new video just uploaded on jw.org.

if you havent watched it yet, have a look at it...."an animated series that touches hearts".

(yes, its well done...and they certainly like to do a lot of boasting about their technical skills etc...).

Coffee House Girl

Its funny.....the first time I clicked on the JWN site to open it....I felt a kind of sick feeling in my stomach (was still holding on to JW doctrine at the time, so I was afraid of "apostates")

I got the exact same sick feeling today when I clicked on JW.org to check out those videos (my first visit to their site)...it is all just so wrong and discusting-

CHG

28

Why do so many refer to Elders as "window washers"?

by adjusted knowledge in

jw
friends

i know the society is against higher education and the pursuit of careers but in my experience the elders in the various congregations i attended had good careers.

in fact most had their own businesses.

thinking back of the boe when i was a teenager this is what they had as a career: two were respected carpenters who owned a construction business, one a high school teacher(he was the po), one sold insurance and was a lawyer, one owned a landscaping business and also hired sisters to clean office buildings and other accounts he had, one was retired, and the last was a janitor for the school board.

Coffee House Girl

In my personal experience, the elders were the ones with their own business...profiting from the cheap manual labor of Rank and File JWs...one elder owned a cleaning company...he never washed windows, but all the regular pioneers employed by him were the window washers.

They made minimum wage, working ungodly wierd hours at night washing windows for businesses, and not getting paid on time. My ex husband worked for this elder, he would tell my ex on payday..."I will get you your money next week"- this week things are a bit tight (whilst elder and his wife were going out for nice dinners and building a new deck on their house).

So when I hear the term window washers...I feel it is an overarching term describing the uneducated status of JWs in general, but it was the lowly rank and file members who did the actual window washing-

CHG

20

My three days of hell summary - Part I

by cookiemaster in

well guys, i finally got back from the dc or whatever it's called nowadays.

it wasn't really as bad as i expected but still, it was pretty bad.

the first interesting thing happened on the road.

Coffee House Girl

Wow , I am facinated actually about these "ones left behind"...(this is the first time I've read about this)...

glad you are able to vent...I am waiting eagerly for the next parts

CHG

25

Hello All

by Jeremiah1958 in

hi to everyone, my name is jerry, i am 56 and i live in tralee, kerry ireland.

i will not bore you with the all too familiar details, suffice it to say i was a prime candidate for indoctrination/ brainwashing.

the surprising aspect is that my wife, a staunch catholic started a study soon after i did.

Coffee House Girl

Welcome!

Thanks for sharing your pain with us...I can identify with your statement that you cannot join any other organized religion again, but respect those who choose to do so- exactly the way I feel...we only have this life and it is too short to squabble over personal decisions- so do whatever makes you happy (but I am done with religion personally)

I hope things will improve for you in time (I've been out since 2010 and I can say that the first few years are rough...but now much better)

CHG